


relinquish

by fiveyaaas



Series: when autumn comes [21]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: (mentions of it at least), Blindfolds, Choking, Established Relationship, F/M, Kinda, Kink Negotiation, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:06:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas
Summary: It was not just her touching him that he welcomed. It was her ideas, her company, her friendship. Even when he wanted nothing more than to be away from everyone else, he wanted her.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: when autumn comes [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941919
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85
Collections: Harcest Fall Festival: Fiveya Kinktober 2020





	relinquish

Five had always struggled with physical touch, even before he had been damned to a life in the apocalypse, even before the only physical contact he had for years was the contact before he snapped a neck or slit a throat. When he was younger, it had been a sort of necessity of having his _own_ space, that was only his. If people invaded it, he would lash out, and, eventually, people learned not to invade it. When he was in his late fifties (or early forties, physically, with his current body), it had become a _fear_ of people invading his space. There had been multiple instances in which he had physically hurt somebody who got too close without warning at all. The most embarrassing of these instances was when he’d closed his hands around Klaus’s throat after he’d snuck up behind him while they’d been playing some card game that had gotten popular when he’d not been around to see it. He hadn’t wanted to interact with any of his family for quite a while after, feeling shame any time he looked at Klaus at all. 

Vanya, as with everything else, was the exception. Her touches were always welcomed, anytime she was willing to offer them he not only tolerated them, he _cherished_ them. 

It was not just her touching him that he welcomed. It was her ideas, her company, her friendship. Even when he wanted nothing more than to be away from everyone else, he wanted her. 

It made sense, then, why she was the only person he had ever slept with who he relinquished control with. While he normally tended to be the one to take charge because she preferred him taking the lead, he always actively welcomed it when she wanted to be more in control. When she’d climb on top of him, he’d be instantly reminded that she was not the same person he had grown up with, but he wasn’t the same either and all that mattered was that they were together now. 

It was after another incident that she suggested it. 

Specifically, it was after Ben had covered Five’s eyes with his now fully corporeal hands, trying to lead him somewhere for some surprise (which, to be fair, why would Ben think Five would even _like_ surprises?) Five had panicked at hands blocking his vision, not even thinking as he started to strangle _another_ one of his brothers. It wasn’t until Ben’s face went purple that Five realized what he was doing and blinked away, hiding in Vanya’s apartment (that he had unofficially moved into by that point). 

Vanya found him not much later. In fact, he imagined that she had walked straight from the mansion to her apartment, which made him feel another spark of guilt. It was cold outside, and she hadn’t worn a jacket. 

“You know he doesn’t judge you, right?” Vanya asked, walking to her kitchen to prepare a kettle of tea. 

“Are you cold?” Five asked, not really to change the subject as he was now adding Vanya getting sick from the chill to the pile of things he would regret. 

Vanya rolled her eyes. “I’m fine. Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m n-“ He sighed loudly at the face she made. “I don’t think Ben would tell _you_ if he had a problem with me, anyways.”

Vanya smirked. “Actually, when you’re being particularly awful, just a complete bastard, a total asshole-“

“Get to the point.”

She laughed, face filled with a lightness that made his heart clench. “When you’re having a mood, I am the _first_ person the others go to for complaining purposes. They’re all convinced I have some sort of control over you.”

“Well, you do,” Five shrugged, surprised that the morons in the mansion had even figured that one out. “But that doesn’t mean that Ben would tell you if he _hated_ me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m being _serious.”_

“Five, Ben loves you. So do all of us, and that’s never going to change, okay?” 

He didn’t reply, just crossed his arms securely over his chest. 

She stalked forward, getting into his personal space, and he was reminded again that only she, only Vanya, could do so without any fear at all. She touched his arm, curled protectively around his torso, saying, “We’re just worried about you, Five. With the way you react to things like that, it’s just… It makes us wonder _why_ you would.”

Inhaling sharply, he closed his eyes. 

“Why did you react that way to someone covering your vision?”

It was Vanya. It was okay. She was his best friend, was in love with him as much as he was with her. “It just… Scares me.”

She made a small noise but waited patiently for him to continue. 

“When I have my vision blocked like that, I just imagine every way in which I am put at a disadvantage. And it scares me that I’ll be hurt.” He knew that _she_ wouldn’t judge him for this, but he did enough for both of them. Fear was a weakness, and he wasn’t supposed to-

“Would it bother you if I did it?”

He opened his eyes in confusion. 

“I mean, you just closed your eyes for a little bit in front of me, right?” Vanya reasoned. “Clearly, you trust me enough to-“

“Yeah, I trust you, but I don’t see how that-“

“Think of it as a way to. I don’t know, expose you to it more? So that you eventually get to where you aren’t so afraid that your first instinct would be to strangle somebody when they cover your eyes.”

“How do you propose we would do that?” Five asked, though he was already pretty certain where this conversation was going. It wasn’t exactly something he felt he should _presume,_ though, even if they had done pretty much everything together already. 

Her lips quirked, realizing that he clearly had caught on already. “Well, there’s blindfolds.”

“I fail to see how you blindfolding me while we fuck would get me over my fear of people blocking my vision, V.”

She grinned, “Is that a no?”

“It’s a _yes_ , but, again, I don’t think it will help me the way you’re thinking.”

“Maybe you’ll have a different Pavlovian response, then. Maybe when Ben tries to cover your eyes, you’ll just get hard. It would be a much less concerning reaction than you strangling him at least.” Her voice was light, but he could sense the genuine worry in there. He didn’t know how to reassure her that he would get better primarily because he had no idea if he even _would._

“If it doesn’t solve the problem,” FIve said, knowing it likely wouldn’t but wanting to try for her. “It’s not like it will do any harm. But, please, understand that it probably won’t change that fear, okay? It’ll have nothing to do-“

“I understand,” she told him quickly, pulling him in for a hug. He returned the embrace easily, setting his chin on the top of her head. She murmured, “Thank you. For telling me, I mean. I worry about you so much, and you tend to never admit that you’re scared. Thank you so much for telling me. I love you.”

He kissed her forehead, “Love you too.”

She pulled away, smiling up at him. “And even if this does nothing at all as far as your fear goes, it’ll at least be fun.” 

“Yeah, and, on the bright side, we already know you like being strangled.”

The reproachful look she was shooting for didn’t land, mainly because she was laughing loud enough that her neighbors could likely hear.

* * *

The blindfold fit snugly over his eyes, and they both knew it would do nothing in helping his fight-or-flight responses, but it likely never was about that anyways. 

He didn’t mind that at all. 

“You can’t see me,” Vanya said, settled on his bare lap, knees pressing into fasten him securely between her thighs. “But I am really proud how well you’re doing.”

Five rolled his eyes, knowing that even if she could not see him do so, she would still sense the action from him. “I fear that if I let you have any more control that you will go mad with power, my dear.”

Vanya laughed, grinding her hips into his growing erection and making him hiss. “I don’t think you’d complain if I did.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t,” Five said, finding her hips after experimentally moving his hands around for a few moments. “Because then you’d stop.”

She giggled, grabbing his hand and letting him feel the cotton of her panties. He searched around until he found a patch of dampness, nearly groaning at the way she was already affected. “I certainly don’t want to stop,” Five continued, finding the waistband and snapping it against her skin, making her keen. 

“I’m supposed to be in control,” Vanya grumbled, not sounding like she minded at all but was arguing just for argument’s sake. “Don’t you want me to be in control?”

Five snorted. “Most of the appeal to you being in control is seeing your eager little face, sweetheart. Even when you try to take charge, you look for approval, you know.”

She groaned, knowing where this was going, and Five took immense pleasure in the fact that he was very much taking the lead now. He knew she liked it just as much, so he didn’t stop. “It’s your own fault,” Five said, feeling around until his hands were sinking underneath her panties, going where she would want him most and thumbing the bundle of nerves roughly. “If you hadn’t _insisted_ on blindfolding me like this, I would love for you to take charge.”

She whimpered, reaching over (to take his blindfold off, he assumed), but he grabbed her wrist, relying on his other senses instead. It felt, oddly, like a sort of training exercise he’d do when he was in the Commission or even when he was a young soldier, to assess his hearing and sense of feel. He imagined if he’d trained with Vanya on top of him, it would have been a much more enjoyable experience. 

He moved a hand to her hip again, flipping them over so that he was on top. 

“You’re a control freak,” Vanya said, canting her hips up. 

Five ripped off the blindfold, mainly because he wanted to see her pouting up at him, and he was beyond satisfied when he confirmed that she was. “I don’t think you mind me being a control freak,” Five responded, tugging off her underwear and running his finger along her wet folds. “In fact, you seem to _really_ enjoy it.”

“D-did it help anything at all?”

“What?” He glanced up at her, confused by her question. 

“The blindfold?”

“Oh! No.”

She frowned, and he kissed her cheek, “Vanya, it’s nothing against you. I wasn’t even uncomfortable to begin with, so there wasn’t really anything I was being exposed to, anyways.”

“Why’d you take it off then?”

He raised a brow, giving her a look that clearly stated, _‘Why do you_ think?’

She blushed, receiving the message. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! Happy day 20, y’all!!! 🥰


End file.
